You

I dreamt about you. In my head you look like Seth McFarlane, though I don’t suppose you really do. I don’t know why you were there. I let you go long ago when it became clear I held no charm for you. Did I ever?

But you were there in my dream and it was some some love struck adventure story. Fitting I suppose. But the whole time I knew you weren’t mine. But I felt all this love, but didn’t know where to put it. Because you aren’t mine. You were never mine. Except perhaps on that New Year’s Eve. The time in your apartment on the couch with the rain outside the glass door and your ridiculously small single bed.

You were the only one I tried to introduce to my father. Ever. He’s gone now. I’m sorry that yours is too. I know you were close. My dad has left my sister and me with an awful lot of baggage. The step-family took his estate from us. We got nothing. I’m glad that’s not your story.

And congratulations on your family. And following your dreams. I’m so pleased for you.

Unfortunately for me I still want that Norwegian I can’t have, so I have no family. And I seem to have no friends in my life. I am most completely alone. Good thing I like my company….

Why were you in my dream? It was torture. And it was love. But it was all this love I have nowhere to put. Giving it to you would be so utterly pointless. But I have to put it somewhere. The Norwegian doesn’t even know I exist, so that’s no good.

There’s an answer. I’m sure of it. Perhaps I’m not asking the right questions or looking in the right places…

Despite everything, it seems clear though, that in a way, I will always love you. Not in a creepy way. But in a fond way that I am so very happy things have worked out for you. ❤

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2018

It’s here. The clocked just ticked over. 17 is officially gone.

This year is going to be amazing because I say so. I’m taking it back.

I’m fighting the good fight. I can literally do anything, and I will.

An amazing career awaits.

An amazing version of me awaits.

Karma’s gonna be such a feisty bitch to those deserving.

Watch out. Here I come.

Quiet

I used to talk too much when I was little. Got in trouble for it all the time. Teachers had to practically bribe me to be quiet.  Isn’t it funny how it all changes? In college, teachers have to pull … Continue reading

Some Foul Play

You know, you probably aren’t supposed to learn things from a film starring Chevy Chase, Goldie Hawn, Burgess Meredith, Billy Barty and Dudley Moore.

But I grew up on a little movie called ‘Foul Play’ that we watched constantly when I was a fairly small child, and thereafter as well. Yes, I was too young for some of it at the time, but those bits honestly went straight over my head and never caused me to grow up too fast or anything silly like that. 

The following is a list of a few things that did stay with me, however, as I am reminded while I watch on this New Year’s Day -almost 40 years after it was made. 

1. The Mikado is very short for an Opera, and has a rather memorable beginning.

2. The basic swear words will take you everywhere you need to go linguistically. “Shit” and “Goddammit” cover most things, while in a really bad jam, all you need is, “Far Out”.

3. Bridesmaid dresses should be great for weddings, a night out on the town, and kidnapping scenarios where running is involved.

4. Snakes should never smoke cigarettes, but are occasionally allowed cookies.

5. Dirty Scrabble is a damn sight harder than it looks. Far Out.

6. Good cops only live on houseboats. 

7. Leaving up old flying scenery is helpful for keeping dead bodies off the stage during a performance.

8. Never take a first date to a retrospective film and expect him to buy the popcorn.

9. Beware of the dwarf. Especially if he’s selling fancy bibles.

10. Always take chances again.

11. Never leave home without your umbrella. 

  

Doctor

It’s just weeks now until the new season of Doctor Who starts, so they’re playing the adverts for it.

I’m not looking forward to it. I hate this new Doctor and all the crappy storylines he’s brought with him. 

He’s no fun to watch. He’s just grumpy all the time and even Clara turned into a character I no longer respected. All that lying. And Missy? Are you kidding me? You really thought that would fly? People sat in a room and patted themselves on the back over all this crap? Blech.

They’ve taken the heart out of the show along with the humour. And even the Doctor’s fierceness is gone because he’s just a cantankerous old ass. 

I want my Timey Wimey. I want a northern accent wrapped in a leather jacket. I want 3D glasses and a long coat. I even want a ridiculous bow tie. Where’s the sense of wonder and excitement? The laughter and the making up as we go along? The fierce protection for what is right? Because this Doctor has none of that. 

Bring back the sense of fun.

At this point I’m hoping for a speedy regeneration and the writers to pull their heads out of their asses. 

Too bad we can’t go back in time and fix it.